Thick As Thieves
by Northern-Southern Belle
Summary: After an irate Rumple sends Robin through a portal for stealing a magic wand, he ends up in Storybrooke and literally runs into Neal, who decides to look after the wounded man. They get even closer when Rumple enlists them to take the chipped cup and Belle back from Regina, who's taken them both, recovering from that adventure with more modern wonders. One-shot. Neal X Robin.
Disclaimer: Only plot and any original characters belong to me.

"You don't steal from Rumplestiltskin. Everybody knows that!"

"No, actually they don't," Belle told him.

Rumple smiled. "Well, they will once they see his body."

"Just let him go!" Belle pleaded. She had a lot of sympathy for the thief who was currently chained up in Rumple's dungeon. "He might have had a very good reason to steal the wand. You don't know!"

"There is _never_ a good reason to steal!" Rumple cried. "Especially not from me!" And with that, he strode off to the man's cell, probably to do something terrible, Belle thought. Her search of the castle had revealed a shortcut back to the dungeons so she was able to get there before Rumple and warn the man what was coming while she untied him to give him a head start.

"How'd you get here so fast?" He asked.

"I took a shortcut," Belle replied.

"This is his castle," the man pointed out. "Surely he knows the quickest ways to get everywhere. Not that I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth or anything. I'm glad he didn't."

"You should probably go before he reaches us," Belle urged. "Do you have a way out of here?"

"Oh, yes," Robin nodded and pulled a bean out of his pocket. But before he had a chance to use it, Rumple strode in and brought the wand down on him, making him disappear.

"What did you do?" Belle asked. "Where did he go?" She turned and glared at Rumple. "You didn't have to do that, you know. If you'd have just waited a few more seconds, he would have left and you'd never have been troubled by him again. What if he dies wherever you zapped him to?"

"Why does that matter to me, dearie?" Rumple wanted to know. "What's one more thief? The world is full of them. He'll probably find another one of his kind to cause trouble with soon enough."

* * *

Robin let out a grunt as he threw his hands out to stop himself from hitting the ground face first. He landed on his knees and got up and brushed the dirt off before looking around. "I see I'm in the woods," he said. "That's surprisingly kind. I would have thought that a man who hated me so much would send me somewhere that was much more foreign and hostile." He began walking around to get his bearings and find materials to build a dwelling out of when all of a sudden, a loud roar sounded and a large shape with brightness much more blinding than the sun shining out of it plowed toward him. He tried to get out of the way, but didn't make it, and ended up on the ground in an awful lot of pain. He shut his eyes tightly and waited for whatever it was to devour him completely, but it never did and he felt nothing but the cool breeze on his forehead and a hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes and found himself looking up at a dark-eyed young man.

"Oh, my god," the man said. "Did I hit you? I hit you, didn't I? Shit, we need to get you to the hospital. I see blood."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Robin winced. "Do you have a horse? I'm afraid I hurt too much to ride."

"No," the man shook his head. "I don't have a horse. We can go in my car. You know, the thing that hit you?" He and Robin struggled a bit to get him on his feet, and then the young man helped him in the car and turned the engine on. "I'm Neal, by the way, the young man introduced himself. "What are you just doing out in the woods? Don't you know that it's dangerous? Wild animals and poison oak and all."

"I thank you," Robin replied as Neal gave him what he thought was a very nice smile. "But I am Robin Hood and I have spent more time than I deserved being concealed Sherwood Forest for crimes committed against the king. But better that than being at the mercy of the Sheriff of Nottingham." He made the mistake of shuddering which aggravated his injury and made him groan in pain.

"Sherwood Forest?" Neal repeated. "You know, if you talked like that around most people here, they would think you were crazy. To them, that's just a place in a story. And you're just a character."

"Oh, and how are you different?" Robin asked.

"I grew up in the Enchanted Forest," Neal told him. "I go by Neal now, but when I lived there, I was known as Baelfire. My father is Rumplestiltskin."

Robin's eyes widened and he began pulling at the seatbelt. "Let me out!" He cried. "Let me out of this horrible thing!"

"Why?" Neal cried. "What's the matter? I told you we had to get you to the hospital."

"Is that so?" Robin asked. "Or are you really just ending the job your father started when I broke into his castle to get a magic wand to save one of my men who was wounded?"

Neal scoffed and shook his head. "You broke into my father's castle and tried to rob him? That's…that's crazy."

"Well, I'm a thief, that's what I do," Robin told him. "It's not as crazy as doing anything else. When you're desperate and don't have any other way of supporting yourself, you'll do anything."

"And don't I know it," Neal agreed. "I went through some tough times myself."

"But your father," Robin said. "Surely he wouldn't want you to be out on your own and being without."

"Well, we were estranged a long time ago," Neal replied. "I haven't seen him for years."

"I'm sorry," Robin apologized.

"Don't worry about it," Neal shook his head. "You didn't know." He paused. "Now, here's something that could be a little tricky and it kind of makes me wish that I had my father's healing powers cause that would make this a whole lot easier, but…when we get to the hospital, we'll have to tell them your name. I can't say that I brought Robin Hood with me, cause that would be strange. Do you go by anything else?"

"Robin of Locksley," Robin said. "Or is that too strange as well?"

"Yes," Neal nodded. "We'll just pretend you're my brother or something. Are you all right with that?"

"All right," Robin nodded. "You know best."

They drove to the hospital and then sat down in the waiting room. Neal filled in the form and handed it back to the receptionist before sitting back down next to Robin. "It won't be very long to wait," he said, taking Robin's hand. "Just hang in there."

Despite his reassurances, as they sat down, Neal could still feel Robin shaking. "Do you really think they can help me here?"

"Yes," Neal nodded. "And without the sort of dangerous side effects that you can get from magic like back home. They'll fix you up, and then you can come back to my apartment and rest before I send you back to Sherwood Forest or wherever."

"Actually, I wouldn't mind staying here for a while, no matter how strange it might be," Robin replied. "Because like I said, I've run afoul of your father and the second I get back home, he'll come looking for me."

"Well, in that case, I'll just have to come back with you, then," Neal replied resolutely. "I'm one of the few people on this earth that he might actually listen to."

They sat in silence until Robin's name was finally called and Neal stood at his side until the doctor had finished looking him over. He had a broken leg and a bump on the head, but once they got his cast on, since he seemed fine, there was no reason for him to stick around.

* * *

"Here you go," Neal said later as he helped Robin get situated in his bed. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, thank you," Robin nodded. "I've been in much more uncomfortable circumstances than this, that's for sure. But where will you sleep if I stay here?"

"I can take the couch," Neal told him. "It's fine."

Robin tried to protest, but Neal wouldn't hear of it. "It's fine," he repeated. "I promise. You just get some rest. You can sleep, or watch TV or whatever."

"What's TV?" Robin asked curiously.

"Let me show you," Neal offered and picked up the remote on the bedside table to turn on a small television that sat on a table just to the left of the foot of the bed.

"Oh, my god!" Robin cried and winced as he jumped and his leg twinged. "Well, that…that's just…magic."

Neal chuckled. "I suppose it would be to you, but I never think of it that way. Magic has too many negative associations for me to use it to describe something I like."

"Yes," Robin nodded. "I suppose in your case it would, wouldn't it?"

Neal came to sit next to Robin on the bed and flipped through the channels until he paused and burst into laughter. "Oh, my god," he said. "Robin Hood."

"What?" Robin asked. "What do you want from me? I can't do much with my bad leg, but whatever I can do, I will."

"No," Neal pointed and shook his head. " _Robin Hood_ , there on the screen. Remember how I told you that in this land, practically everyone who lives in our world is thought to be a person in a story? Well, here's your tale." He paused. "And I know this is a bit late for me to tell you, but…welcome to Storybrooke, Maine."

"Thank you," Robin told him, his eyes glued on the TV screen as his story played out (with many fanciful alterations to make it more exciting, he supposed. And he could understand why they'd done that; there was only so much that could be done with a bunch of men in the woods who left them to try and steal from richer people and only occasionally came back with a haul big enough to actually make them feel like they accomplished something, although they were always glad they could help the peasants, whether it was one or several.

"All right," Neal clapped his hands. "Since you seem to be involved in that, I have to go run some errands. You gonna be okay here by yourself for an hour or so?"

"Yes, thank you," Robin told him. "I'll manage somehow."

"I won't be gone long," Neal promised.

He left and went to get groceries and put gas in his car, and as he was filling up, he got a call from his father. "Yes, Papa?" He asked. "What can I do for you?"

"I need your help," Rumple told him. "I need a little favor."

"All right," Neal said as he shifted the phone a little to hear better. "What sort of favor? Nothing dangerous, is it?"

"Do you really think I would ask you to do something you couldn't handle?" Rumple asked him. "What kind of parent would I be if I did that?" He paused. "Again, I mean?"

"All right, all right," Neal said. "Just tell me what you need. "You don't want me to kill anyone, do you? Because I won't do that, Papa."

"Of course not," Rumple told him quickly. "I just need you to retrieve something for me. From the Queen's castle. I'd go myself, but with our history, I don't think there's any way I'll get in."

"So when you say you want me to retrieve it, you actually want me to _steal_ it from her?" Neal asked.

"It's not stealing," Rumple said. "It's taking back something that was stolen from _me_. That's different."

Neal sighed. "Oh, all right," he said. "I suppose if it was taken from you first then I'll do it. I even have someone with me who could help."

"Really?" Rumple asked. "Who is it?"

"Robin Hood," Neal replied. "He just popped in from back home in the Enchanted Forest. He's adjusting pretty well to the present day, but giving him something familiar to do might help him even more."

"Well, all right then," Rumple told him. "Isn't it ironic that for once, that thief will be stealing _for_ me, not from me. Such an irony, considering there was this one time I caught him stealing and sent him away for it. I never knew where he went after that."

"He might have come here," Neal replied. "When he first saw me, he was babbling about you and how you sent him here to me to continue the punishment you started."

Rumple giggled. "Well, isn't that an amusing coincidence?"

"Yes," Neal nodded. "I guess it is." He paused. "Now I need you to tell me the best way to get in the Queen's house so there's only a slim chance I'll get caught."

Rumple chuckled. "I can make it so you can get in and get out without being caught at all. That would be best, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Neal nodded. "I guess I do."

* * *

He headed home and was surprised (well, okay maybe less surprised then he should be) to find that Robin was no longer in bed and was propped up on the couch with his leg on a stool. "Well, hello," he remarked and tossed a stuffed dragon on Robin's lap. "Are you okay? Do you need me to help you get back to bed?"

"No, I think I'll be all right," Robin assured him and then looked at the toy dragon. "What's this for?"

"Well, you're in a new place and you got a broken leg," Neal shrugged. "I thought it would cheer you up."

"Thanks," Robin remarked and hugged it to himself. "It's very soft."

"No problem," Neal replied and inexplicably reached out to ruffle Robin's hair. "I'm glad you like it. Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be walking around, though?"

"Oh, I feel fine, thanks," Robin told him. "I've gotten through worse scrapes than this."

"Good," Neal nodded. He paused, then cleared his throat. "I have a proposition for you that might bring you a little taste of home."

"Oh?" Robin asked. "What is it?"

"My father told me that he had something stolen from him by the evil queen and he wants it back. He wondered if you and I, with our extensive experience at thievery, could get it for him."

"He's powerful," Robin pointed out. "Why can't he get it himself."

"Cause he claims she'll be expecting that and thus if he went, he wouldn't get past the front door," Neal explained. "She wouldn't expect either of us. I could go by myself since you're injured, but…I would really like the company."

Robin looked into Neal's sincere, pleading eyes and sighed. "Although, based on my past experience with your father, there is a part of me that is loath to help him, another part of me just doesn't feel right saying 'No' to you," he said at last. "Of course I'll help you. But how is it that you expect me to get around on my broken leg? I can walk around the house here with determination, but doing more than that would prove to be more difficult, I think."

"Well, my father knows magic that can heal you," Neal pointed out. "If we went to see him, I'm sure he'd be willing to help get you better."

"Oh, I'm not sure, but we could give it a try," Robin told him. "Let's do it."

* * *

As expected, Rumple initially resisted healing Robin. "I don't see why I should have to heal a man who's stolen from me before," he said. "Who's to say that when I help him, he won't try and steal from me again?"

"He won't," Neal told him. "Papa, he's helping me get it for you. And how do you know that he'll keep what we're getting if we don't even know what that is? Can't you tell us? How are we supposed to know what we're going after if you don't tell us?"

Rumple paused and looked in between the two men who looked at him curiously, and then said to Neal, "I'll tell you if the thief leaves the room."

"Oh, come on," Neal said. "If you can say it in front of me, you can say it in front of him."

But Robin noticed the slight flush in Rumple's cheeks and put a hand on Neal's arm. "It could be that it's something very personal," he said and hobbled toward an exit. "I'll come back and you can tell me after."

"Well, isn't that a pleasant surprise?" Rumple remarked after Robin had disappeared. "I thought I was going to have to use a bit more persuasion to make him leave."

"You didn't have to because he's a very kind man who sensed that what you were about to tell me was very personal," Neal said. "He didn't want to feel like he was intruding. Now, what is it that the evil queen is keeping from you?"

"It's…well, it's two things," Rumple replied. "One is a chipped cup, and the other…the other is Belle."

"Really?" Neal asked. This is not what he'd been expecting. He'd been expecting to hear that the queen was hoarding gold or had stolen a wand or something. But a chipped cup and a woman? That was a twist. "Who's Belle? Do you…do you love her very much?"

"Yes," Rumple said quietly and locked eyes with him. "I would say that I do. Please bring her back, son. Please."

"All right," Neal assured him. "Robin and I will bring her back for you. But first, you have to heal him. I accidentally ran him over with my car when he popped in from the Enchanted Forest, and his leg is broken."

"Oh, all right," Rumple sighed. "Call him back here and I'll fix him up since he's doing such a big favor for me."

"Thank you, Papa," Neal told him. "Thank you."

* * *

"So you're telling me that you knew my father had feelings for someone?" Neal asked as he helped Robin change into comfier clothes in the dark of his bedroom as they prepared to do their first evening of reconnaissance in the evil queen's house and at the very least, find out where the girl and the cup were hidden.

"I knew that they had some sort of alliance," Robin admitted. "When I went to snatch a wand from him because I wanted to heal one of my men who was sick and he caught me, she set me free. I always wondered how he felt about her or what she was doing there. There was clearly more going on between them than I realized."

Neal helped Robin zip up his pants (he was still getting the hang of modern clothes) and then, with a drawing of the layout of Regina's house in hand (and where Rumple suspected Belle was being held specially marked) they left the house and made their way out of Neal's house and headed off to Regina's.

* * *

After Neal climbed in through a window and let Robin in through the front door. He then put a finger to his lips and took his hand as they made their way through the house.

"Are you sure you know where we're going?" Robin asked. "Should we light some candles so we can have a look at the map?"

"No, that would be a terrible idea," Neal replied. He paused and took the bag off his shoulder, then rifled around for the flashlight in the front pocket. He found it and turned it on, training the beam on the map, studying it.

As they looked at the map, they heard a noise and then looked up, dropping the flashlight so that it made a loud clunking noise.

"Hello boys," said the queen as she stared at them with narrowed eyes. She wore a lavender bathrobe and a wicked grin. "Can I help you? Don't you know that it's not nice to break into a woman's house in the middle of the night?"

"Don't you realize that it's not nice to kidnap someone and hold them against their will?" Robin retorted. "It's been revealed to us that you're holding an innocent woman captive and we've come to rescue her."

"Is that what you're doing?" Regina asked Neal. "I actually wondered when you'd be coming through here. Your father sent you, didn't he?"

"He did," Neal nodded as Regina turned on the lights. "Look, I don't want there to be any bloodshed. Please just give us Belle and the cup and we'll be on our way."

"You're very diplomatic," Robin told him. "I like it."

"I've seen my father hurt too many people in my life," Neal told him. "I don't want to end up the same way."

Regina smiled. "That's very smart," she said and sat down. "Why don't you join me and we can talk?"

"All right," Neal agreed. They all sat down together at the kitchen table and the evil queen ordered them to avert their eyes while she changed into something presentable. When she had, she sat back down again. She opened her mouth to speak, but then frowned when Robin interrupted.

"Can I ask what your name is? I've only heard you referred to as the Queen or the Evil Queen. Surely you must have a name."

"It's Regina," Regina told him.

"Regina," Robin repeated.

"Silence! I didn't invite you to call me it!" Regina snapped and brought her hand down on the table. Robin quickly grabbed Neal's hand and squeezed it tight.

"It's going to be all right," Neal whispered in his ear. "Relax."

"Yes," Robin nodded. "Thank you."

"All right," Neal said as he turned to face Regina. "Are you going to give us what we came for, or what?"

Regina just burst out laughing. "You honestly think that I'm just going to _give_ you what you came for? I'm keeping those things from your father for a reason. I won't just hand them back for nothing."

"I figured as much," Neal replied. "What do you want?"

"Well, first," Regina said, "I would like a drink. And while you're getting that, I'll think of what I want second."

"All right," Neal nodded. "I can do that." As he made the drink, he poured a little of the sleeping potion his father had given him as a precaution in it and mixed it up, turning just as Robin sprinted out of the kitchen and Regina ran after him, emitting an angry shriek. Neal hoped that Robin was running off to get what they'd come for. Pausing, he called after Regina, "Don't you want your drink?"

She suddenly appeared right in front of him, took it, and drank it down, and then her eyes widened and she grabbed his shirt in an attempt to maintain her balance as she slowly fell to the floor, the effect of the sleeping potion he'd mixed in the wine quickly taking effect. He picked up the sleeping Regina, laid her down on the sofa, and then ran off to find Robin, calling out his name and waiting for an answer so he would know what way to go.

By the time he reached the room where Belle was being held, Robin had her in his arms and was on the way out. "How did you get down here?" He asked Neal worriedly. "Are you hurt? We're not going to get caught, are we?"

"No," Neal shook his head. "My father gave me a sleeping potion to put in Regina's drink if she got troublesome, but I don't know how long it will last, so if you've got her, we should probably get a move on."

"All right," Robin agreed. "Let's go."

"The cup," Belle muttered against Robin's shoulder. "Don't forget the cup!"

"Right," Neal agreed. "The cup. Where is it?"

Since Belle wasn't exactly in the most alert state (she'd been drugged with some sort of potion to stop her from escaping) it took time, but they finally found the cup just as Regina began to wake up from the effects of the potion and then darted out of her house as fast as they could, then driving back to Rumple's to present him with what they'd retrieved.

"Thank you," he said to Neal as he put the cup back in its place of honor and then took Belle from Robin's arms, cuddling her close. "Thank you so much for getting her home safe, son."

"You're welcome," Neal told him. Then he gestured at Robin. "Isn't there someone else you should be thanking?"

"I'm considering this payback for stealing the wand," Rumple said firmly. "That doesn't deserve a thank you."

"Papa, please," Neal said firmly.

"Oh, all right," Rumple told him and then looked at Robin. "Thank you so much for helping my son rescue the woman I love very much. I-I'm very grateful."

"You're welcome," Robin smiled at him. "It was a pleasure."

* * *

They left after that and while they drove home, Robin said, "As much as I enjoyed that little reminder of home, may I request that we do things more common to this time and place?"

"Sure," Neal nodded. "If you're not worn out from that adventure. What do you want to do?"

"Well, I don't know many things," Robin pointed out. "Beyond watching Television and driving in a car. I was hoping that maybe you'd be able to suggest something."

"A soak would be good," Neal replied. "Don't you think?"

"Oh, that would be delightful," Robin agreed. "But I wouldn't want there to be too much trouble. You'd have to find a water source and then heat the water, and…"

"Actually, with indoor plumbing and heating, the warm water comes right out of the faucet so it's not any trouble," Neal replied.

"All right," Robin nodded. "I have no more problems then."

* * *

When they got home, Neal ran the water and then as he undressed, Robin asked, "You'll want to have some time in the water as well, once I'm through, right?"

"Yes, but take your time," Neal told him. "I can wait. You did more than I did."

"Oh, nonsense," Robin brushed off that remark and then said, "It doesn't really make a lot of sense to run two separate baths when we could both just be in the water at the same time."

"Well…" Neal thought it over for a little while and then agreed. He undressed and then joined Robin in the tub.

"You weren't lying when you said this would be nice," Robin told him and relaxed into the warm water. "Do you have enough room, or do you want me to move a little?"

Neal shifted position and shook his head. "No, I'm good." He then put some soap on a wash cloth and they helped each other wash off. When they were clean and warm, they got out of the tub, dried each other off, then put bathrobes on and went into the living room, sitting close to each other on the sofa with Robin putting his head on Neal's shoulder.

"Hey, you want a drink?" Neal asked after a bit. "Or something to eat?"

"Yes," Robin nodded. "I could eat a horse. I'm starving! And I wouldn't say 'No' to a drink either."

Neal got them both beers and then said, "About food…"

"When I said I was hungry, it's not a terrible emergency," Robin assured him. "I know cooking takes time and I don't want us to rush anything."

"Oh, it's no trouble," Neal replied and picked up the phone. "You can get food made for you in half an hour now."

"Made _for_ you?" Robin repeated. "That…that's amazing! I continue to be in awe of this world."

"I know," Neal smiled. "Amazing, isn't it?" He ordered a couple of pizzas, and when the doorbell rang half an hour later, he had to come see the delivery man on the other side with his own eyes.

"Well, my god," he said when the man had gone and Neal brought the pizza boxes in the living room. "You weren't lying."

"Nope," Neal shook his head and grinned. "Do you want cheese or meat-covered?"

"Well, I don't know," Robin shook his head. "Whichever one you think is better is the one I'll have."

"I'll give you one of each, cause they're both good," told him, putting both on a plate, handing it to Robin, and waiting to see his reaction, which did not disappoint. He took too big a bite, his eyes widened, and he smiled as his cheeks puffed out and he carefully chewed.

"That…that's amazing!" He cried. And then he proceeded to finish both slices and grab for more.

"I guess I was right to get two boxes," Neal observed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Robin quickly apologized. "I've never really known where my sources of food are coming from, so when I get some, I eat all that I can."

"I get it," Neal smiled. "There was this one time I was in Victorian England and I sneaked into the house of a family named the Darlings. I was eating their bread and their daughter Wendy caught me. I thought she was going to yell, but instead she told me to have all I wanted…and then her parents took me in."

"How wonderful," Robin smiled. "Is that why you did the same for me?"

"Yeah, well, after I ran you over with my car I couldn't very well just leave you suffering out in the open, could I?" Neal asked.

"Thank you," Robin told him. "Thank you for giving me a home and teaching me about this wonderful and strange new world."

"You're welcome," Neal told him. "And you can stay here as long as you want. I hope you do stay until this time isn't so strange to you anymore. I would like that."

"Yes," Robin nodded and hugged him. "I would too."

 **The End**


End file.
